Healing a Broken Parent/Child Relationship with Alex Willis - 49

The people who look “fine” can be the ones hurting in silence, and sometimes the damage happens while we’re busy doing good things. This week, Kim is joined by her daughter, Alex Willis, for a candid, hope-filled conversation about healing a mother-daughter relationship after years of misaligned priorities, misunderstandings, and unspoken needs. We talk about what it felt like for her as an only child in a small church when Kim's time and attention were often pulled toward youth ministry and other people’s crises, and how that slowly taught her to minimize her own pain.

Alex shares how motherhood brought old wounds to the surface, why their simple “Monday time” became a turning point, and what it takes to rebuild trust when you can’t redo the past. They get practical about Christian parenting and family discipleship: noticing emotional needs even when there are no red flags, creating margin, and remembering that ministry and service can never replace presence at home. They also talk about the courage it takes for adult children to speak up, and why apologies matter more than defensiveness.

They close by acknowledging listeners carrying real childhood trauma and complicated family histories. Not every relationship is safe to continue, but forgiveness and healing are still possible, and we pray directly for comfort, protection, and restoration. If you care about healing broken relationships, balancing church leadership with family, and learning how prayer can repair what feels fractured, listen now, share with someone you love, and please subscribe and leave a review so more hearts can find hope.

Transcript

Welcome And Meet Alex

Kim McIntire 0:08

Welcome everyone to the It's Time to Rise Up podcast. I'm your host, Kim McIntire. I pray you're encouraged, strengthened, and blessed by what's spoken today. If you're not familiar with our show, please check out our website at it'stimetoriseup.org where you'll find our social media links. And for our podcast platforms, you can find us on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and everywhere else you find your podcast. I want to welcome my daughter, Alex Willis, into the studio. Hey, Alex. Hello. Thank you for finally saying yes. She's not just my daughter, she's truly my friend. And God gets all the credit for our relationship being what it is today. Because unfortunately, that was not always the case. That's why she's here to talk about how the Lord has healed what was broken. So here are just a few things I love about my daughter. First of all, she's a miracle from God. If you don't know my story, please go back and listen to my testimony from episode 29 and 30. Truly what the enemy meant for evil, our God has turned for good. Another thing I love about Alex is that she's so honest for the good or bad. If my dress or outfit doesn't work, she's very quick to say so. But on a deeper level, I can go to her and say, hey, here's what's going on. This is what I'm feeling. What do you think? And she won't just say what makes me feel better. She tells me the truth because she walks with God and she's humble. She's also a prayer warrior, and I've been able to see that grow. I love that she's funny and spontaneous. There are a million things I love about her, but we're going to go ahead and jump into the interview with some rapid fire questions. Are you ready? Yes, ma'am.

Rapid Fire And Real Life

Kim McIntire 1:53

Oh, maybe you want to tell the audience some things about yourself. Do you want to tell listeners something about yourself, like your family, your life, your job? Well, first off, I'm hilarious.

Alex Willis 2:03

You are. It's just we gotta start with that one. You are hilarious. Um, I'm a hairstylist in Joplin, Missouri. I've been doing hair for 18 years this month. Um, I have a husband, I have a 15-year-old son and a five-year-old little girl. So I have emotional whiplash every day of my life. Yes. I have hormones on every side of my body all of the time, including myself. So it's it's a fun circle to live in.

Kim McIntire 2:33

It is, it is. And they're all my favorite people? Yes. Yes, okay. Well, and yeah, it's it's a fun life and it's a busy life. So here we go. We're gonna start with simple. Your favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip or peppermint. Same as mine. I love that. If you could only go one place for vacation every year for the rest of your life, or let's say a location, a vacation location, one place every year for the rest of your life, where would you pick? Australia. Australia.

Alex Willis 3:05

And have you been there? I have, I've been twice. My father-in-law lives there, my husband has dual citizenship, and so we were lucky to be able to go there in 2015, and then we were able to spend three weeks in December and January 24 and 25 to be able to spend the Christmas holiday with him. So that was wonderful.

Kim McIntire 3:26

You guys got to see so much. And Everly still wants to go back, she still talks about it. Every day. Can we go back to Australia? Well, she wasn't even four when she went, and she remembers so much about it. Which is really cool. So, yeah, Australia. I've never been there, but I know from your pictures it's beautiful. It is. Um, what is your go-to drink in the morning?

Alex Willis 3:47

If it's cold outside, I want a hot peppermint tea. But every other day of my life, it is an ice cold sonic Coke on my way to work. There you go.

Kim McIntire 3:58

What is your favorite way to unwind? A hot bath. Mm-hmm. Me too. Me too. Who in your life makes you laugh the hardest?

Alex Willis 4:10

I make me laugh the hardest. I believe nobody understands my humor quite like me. And nobody knows how to make me laugh, quite like me. That's true.

Kim McIntire 4:19

Okay, you make me laugh too. What is one memory of childhood that you trick cherish?

Alex Willis 4:25

Oh, there's so many. Um I was lucky enough to be able to be close to my great-grandparents until I was in middle school and high school. And so I can remember being with my great-grandmother, my nanny, and just playing outside on the swing set, or her giving me a spoon of honey out of her cabinet, or going to my great-grandfather's house, Bob Bob. And he had this back garden that had rocks and seashells. No landscaping, just like some cactuses, some gravel, and seashells. And he had random pots hanging on the wall on nails. And so I would always make it my kitchen out there. And he would just go to my store or my restaurant and eat up. You know, he just he let me do all the things. He never said, That's too dangerous for you. He would say, Let me show you how to do that. Let me let me show you. And so I try to do that with my kids rather than say, You can't do that, it's too hard, or you're gonna get hurt. Right. Let me show you.

Kim McIntire 5:25

I love that. Yeah, I have lots of memories with them too. That's sweet. Okay, on a lighter note, who is your favorite or who is your childhood crush?

Alex Willis 5:35

I had a new one every five minutes. Okay. Every boy that I met, basically. Um, the very first one that I can remember who was somebody that I knew-ish would be highly illegal. But I think he's my fourth cousin. Okay, Miss Shay. I think I was about three years old, and I was gonna marry Shay. It was not allowed. That's okay. He was the one. He was pretty cute. And then celebrity-wise, George of the Jungle whenever I was little. He was the first one that I saw that movie, and then my Barbies, there was no more Ken. Ken was George from then on.

Kim McIntire 6:09

Name change. Oh my goodness. Okay, last one. What is something on your bucket list that you feel like is an impossible endeavor? You're gonna love this one.

Alex Willis 6:19

Okay. Not at all. Um, my goal is to be mostly plastic by the time I'm 80 years old.

Kim McIntire 6:25

Oh my word.

Alex Willis 6:28

Okay. Or another one is that someday my house might be as clean as yours. Oh, you're so cute. Oh my word, I love it. Okay, yeah. Well, you made me laugh. There you go. I have one more if you want to use it instead. Sure. Uh a dream or a a goal, desire that I've had for my whole entire life, of you know, middle school forward, is I just have this feeling in my heart that I think it would be so amazing to be a close friend and confidant of a celebrity. Not somebody that you see wandering around with them, but in a person whose life is on a platform and seen by the whole entire world to be somebody who is trustworthy and that they feel they can go to. Um, I think that would be a really cool thing. And not necessarily for the influence I would have on them, but just the kind of character a person would need to have in order to be that kind of a turning point or a beacon for another person, particularly somebody who has arguably access to anybody they want in the whole entire world to be somebody that they believe is trustworthy and have a character to turn to.

Why Alex Joined The Show

Kim McIntire 7:53

Okay. Well, I didn't know that. So now I've learned things about you I didn't even know. You're very interesting. Well, the reason, one of the reasons why you're on the podcast is that um Amber and I, my co-host and I were talking about possible episodes for the upcoming future and topics that might be beneficial for listeners. And I was sharing a little bit with her about our relationship and how God has brought healing to it and why it was fractured to begin with, because you know, we're all human, right? We all have flaws and imperfections. And so I told her one day, she was like, I was just telling her, you know, that time just doesn't work for me for that meeting because that's my day with Alex. She's like, I said, I know that probably sounds strange to you, but I really keep Mondays my Alex time. And I said, the reason I do that is because I don't feel I always made her the priority that she should be. And God has healed that, and I want to make sure that we spend time together. Even if it's just we go to lunch or we go have coffee or we walk the mall, or it's not usually some big, you know, incredibly creative thing. Right. We do both like to go to thrift stores and flea markets and antique malls and all that, but a lot of times it's just going to the mall. Yes. Eating a Chick-fil-A, right? Chick-fil-A every day. So I remember some years back you were talking about how it was difficult for you when I was doing a lot of youth ministry and just your perspective on priority, my priorities regarding time and intentionality. So maybe you just kind of lead out this conversation with, you know, what do you remember about those years when I was doing youth ministry and you were in the youth group, but our relationship wasn't necessarily healthy?

Alex Willis 10:09

To

When Church Work Hurts Home

Alex Willis 10:10

be able to picture it, you need to understand that the church we were going to was a relatively small church. So we're not talking about a youth group with 40, 50, 100 kids. We've got seven, eight, nine, maybe ten or twelve on a great week, maybe fifteen or twenty during Easter, or if everybody in the church happened to be there on the same week. Um with that in mind, there were just a few peers that were within the same age range as me that were also female. And when you took the lead, and I guess you weren't the leader, but whenever you took on more of a leadership role in the church that we were attending at the time, you really made yourself available to those girls, which is great. And I'm thankful for them that you were able to do that. However, when you're an only child and all of a sudden your mom is spending a lot of time worrying about talking to meeting with and not including you necessarily on those one-on-ones with these girls, it becomes a matter of, oh, I'm not important. Oh, these girls have big problems, which some of them did. They did have, they needed you. But I didn't have big problems. I had small problems. And so in my mind it was, oh, my mom, I don't need my mom as bad. She doesn't think I need her as bad. So she needs to be here for this girl and that girl and that girl. And I didn't feel the freedom to come to you with, oh mom, this girl at school really hurt my feelings. And I don't know what to do because now none of them will talk to me, and it's over this thing that is not even true. Or, oh mom, I like this boy. Or, you know, any anything, big, small, whatever. It was, it was never big enough in my mind to interrupt your needed time with the other girls. Um and so that is probably the first thing that comes to mind, like my initial thoughts and feelings, keeping in mind this is this is years in the making, and probably some stuff that I need to go to therapy or be prayed over for just childhood stuff in general. It was relatively close to the time that I had transitioned from being the only child and the only grandchild to then sharing attention with grandchildren that were boys that were more exciting than a girl. And then right as I'm hitting the middle school age, these other girls are needing you more than I did. So I wasn't the apple of the family's eye anymore. And then also your attention was going to other people that I felt needed you more than I did.

Kim McIntire 13:12

So that's your perception. Yeah. And I think for people who are in leadership or in ministry roles, I would just encourage you, especially if you have young kids or teenagers at home, really think about your balance of time and intentionality. And how are you investing in your own children? How are you investing in your own marriage and family? Because I believe that our first ministry is within the walls of our home. And if we are not ministering well within the walls of our own home, then we're missing it. And I think that's really where some wounding happened. Um, and that happens. I mean, most of us do have some kind of wounding from our childhood. Um, but I think the important thing is is be willing to change what needs to change. Um, and hopefully you can make the changes before your child is grown, you know, because I feel like the changes for us didn't come until really after probably you had Phoenix, your first child.

Alex Willis 14:32

Well, I didn't say anything either.

Kim McIntire 14:34

I don't think I ever said anything to you about it. Well, I did learn about it because then I've tried to make well, I understand what you're saying.

Alex Willis 14:42

It wasn't until I was a mother that I said, Oh yeah, this is you didn't ever have time for me. My problems weren't big enough for you, etc. Yeah.

Kim McIntire 14:52

Which wasn't my intention.

Alex Willis 14:54

No.

Kim McIntire 14:54

But you know, I I also think it's really important when your child, whether they're young or a teenager or an adult, if your child says to you, This was hard for me, or this was hurtful to me, this wounded me, for there to be humility to say, I'm so sorry. Forgive me. I can't go back, I can't change it, I can't take it back. But I can certainly move forward with an awareness that with all the demands in our life, our close relationships should have priority in our lives, you know? And so why don't you just share a little bit about how God's brought healing to you in those areas? Or maybe how he still is.

Alex Willis 15:47

Well, I think that the starting point, of course, is being willing to let you know because you can't mend something that you don't know is broken or fractured. So there can be a leak in a pipe in a house, but you don't know it until you start seeing the evidence of that. Right. And it's it's not it's not absurd for a teenage girl to be a little bit withdrawn from her parents, or to be exploring her own identities, or to have more interest in being with her friends. All of the things, I don't I don't think from my perspective that I was doing anything that would raise any red flags for you to even know to check in on me. To say, hey sis, you seem you seem different, or you seem right a little bit sad, or is anything going on in your world? I don't think that I was doing anything to cause you to have you weren't having any alarm bells ringing. And and thankfully, I mean, I thank God every day that I didn't do any of the things that the other people you were helping, I I wasn't going through major relationship crises. I wasn't experimenting with substances or drinking. I didn't drink in high school, I didn't drink in middle school, I wasn't going out and partying. And so I really just was keeping to myself and not really But you had needs, emotional needs.

Kim McIntire 17:29

I did. And relational needs. And I think one message is, you know, anyone who is a you know, ministry-minded person can allow themselves to get so busy with ministry that they're sacrificing their family on the altar of ministry. Yeah. Or they're so busy with church events, volunteering, just doing the things, right? And we're not even talking about being a staff or a pastor, we're talking about volunteer leadership roles. Certainly. You can be so busy with all of that that you don't even recognize you're not sitting down and having conversations with your child or your teenager or your young adult child, and you're not taking time to be like, hey, let's go have lunch, or let's just go take a walk, watch a movie, you know, walk them all, whatever. You know, I know that's different for moms and sons, but but just being intentional, but there's such a there's kind of this frenzied pace. I feel like people in ministry keep this frenzied pace of this is my schedule, this is what I have to get done. And then somewhere in there, family fits into that schedule. Yeah. Instead of our schedule should be based around our time with the Lord and our time with our family, and everything else should come under that. And I really believe that's true. Again, it goes back to if you aren't ministering to your family by loving them well and taking care of their emotional, not just their physical needs by providing a home and food and clothing, but their emotional needs of time and attention. And so, you know, this is really just a call out to people who, you know, I'm in my mid-50s and but I know there are people listening who are raising families and their children are young or they're teenagers or they're college students. Don't discount the college students and their need for time with you as well. Sometimes that may even be the most important time is to prioritize when your kids are home from college, spend the time with them. Yeah, call them on the phone. I had a friend who said to me, her first year in college was one of the most traumatic years of her life. And when she would call home, sometimes her parents they didn't understand she was lonely. They didn't understand she was struggling. Yeah. And they would be like, Okay, well, we're on our way out to dinner, we'll call you back or we'll talk to you later. She's like, I just wanted five minutes on the phone with my mom and dad. Yeah. Five minutes on the phone would have brought her so much comfort. So I guess just don't underestimate the power of your presence.

Alex Willis 20:15

Yeah, for sure. And also, um, I started to say I didn't really get around to it. It it's hard to put into words,

Mondays And The Start Of Repair

Alex Willis 20:24

but having the boldness to communicate your needs. I didn't say anything to you until I was a mom and I was in the throes of I have this, you know, young child, or maybe I'm pregnant, and you know, whenever I had Phoenix, I had this identity crisis of I had only always been in charge of myself. I had been my own person, I had a erratically selfish life. I did what I wanted when I wanted, and then I had this small baby that I loved so much, but I didn't know how to take care of him, aside from yes, you you you feed them, you love them. But I was having this clash of identities of I want to go and and do this and I need to take care of him, and and I don't know what to do. And I had not done a whole lot of babysitting in my life. I'd done a little bit, but not ever for a newborn. And I was overwhelmed. I was dealing with some postpartum stuff, and I think that is when we really started prioritizing Mondays. It for me started by just I went to your house on Mondays to to escape the apartment that I felt trapped in. But then we had conversations about what what it was like or how I missed you. You were right there, but I missed you whenever I was in middle school. You were right there, but I missed you whenever I was in high school because we didn't We didn't communicate to each other. You you were always there. Sis, I'm always here for you. If there's anything you need, you did say that. But on my end, I felt that nothing that I needed was ever as big as what somebody else needed. But once I finally realized that my needs were important as well, and I wanted to be a good mom to my child, and I couldn't do that if I was empty. And you were the only person in my life that I left the room with and I felt poured into, you know, that that made the world of difference as to, okay, I need you. I I not only do I need you, I want to be with you. It's not just because you have this one thing that I need. Right. You are the one person in the world who loves me absolutely unconditionally. You are not ever going to do anything or say anything intentionally that is going to harm me or hurt me or lead me down a path that is going to cause harm to me. And I think that there's something about that switch to motherhood that suddenly it unlocks something in your brain that you can see, oh, okay, this is how the Lord feels about me. That's good. And so once I realized in my heart what what God felt about me, it was a lot easier to the to act upon and realize and acknowledge that we can't undo what is done.

Kim McIntire 23:35

Right.

Alex Willis 23:35

That I didn't have a traumatic childhood or upbringing. I had a great upbringing.

Kim McIntire 23:41

Yeah.

Alex Willis 23:41

And I was tired of allowing myself to believe the lie of the enemy that I'm the victim. Wow. Because so many times I would have people come up to me and say, Oh, your mom is so wonderful. Oh, you're so lucky that you have a mom like him. And I'd be like, I wish I had a mom like him, but you have my mom. Right. And that followed me. You know this audience, you're gonna learn this. I up even recently, I I will be honest with you, to this very day, if my mom is meeting and having lunch with somebody my age, I can't handle it. You know, I have to pray about it because my heart turns to this, oh, it's happening again. Oh, this person is needing my mother. Now, if it's somebody way younger than me or somebody her age or even several years older than me, it's not as not as hard-hitting, but it's something about that special trigger. Yeah, it is. Um, even though it's nothing that really nobody is gonna say, Oh my goodness, you poor thing. Look what happened to you. Yeah, but it's still the enemy knows what to use. Oh, sure. He he twists it and he bores deep down into your heart, he knows your desires. So and your insecurities. Yes, absolutely. And he exploits them.

Kim McIntire 25:01

He exploits them. He uses them. Absolutely. Yeah, it's true. And so, you know, if you're in ministry, whether it's that you're a staff, a pastor, a pastor's wife, a volunteer that pours tons of hours into serving in your church or community, or you're a workaholic. We can call that out too. Um those are all real things in our society. Um your child may not be showing you any red sign red flags. There may not be red flags going off. You may not see warning signs. Don't assume that everything's okay. Yeah. Don't assume that you can neglect the investment of your time and presence and that there will not be damage being done. Because the truth is we were created to be seen and heard and loved. And God demonstrates that the best through human relationship in the family unit, parent, you know, husband to wife, wife to husband, parent to child, that's the model that Christ gives us. And so, you know, my my prayer would be that this would just maybe bring an awareness. Ask yourself, what does my schedule look like? If I'm if I'm spending this many hours, you know, investing in people, how how much of that time is my family? Ask yourself that question and be honest about it. And then ask the Lord, how can I re-prioritize what I'm doing and bring it into alignment with the Lord and be sure that what you're doing is really what God's asking you to do because good things aren't always God things. Right. And I think John Bevere wrote a book about that, but I couldn't be sure. I know there's a book titled Good Things Are Not God Things, are not always God things. So we can get caught up in doing a lot of good, but not necessarily be doing what God called us to do. And God doesn't call us to do things that would create um a situation where we're neglecting our family. Correct. Well, we have for sure established where the brokenness began and what created that. And so, and you talked about how coming over on Mondays, you know, maybe was probably a transitioning point. Where do you believe like the healing began? Do you feel like it was at that point when you were coming over on Mondays and we were spending more time together than we had been?

Alex Willis 27:54

Or no, I don't think it was that at all. I think that God has an interesting

Prayer Behind The Healing

Alex Willis 28:00

way of working things that he's outside of time. And I think that the healing process began before the problem started, because you've prayed for me every day. You have journals and journals of prayers for me. And so you might not have necessarily known in your heart or your mind that I needed to have forgiveness for you, that we would need to have amending of a fractured relationship. But the Lord knew. Right. So even though maybe you didn't necessarily know specifically what it was that you were praying for, for me to have strong relationships, for me to have protection, for the Lord to protect my mind. Um, God was using those prayers to begin the the preemptive work on my heart, on your heart to bring us back together, so to speak. Yeah.

Kim McIntire 28:55

Prayer is definitely, I have to say, you know, if you have a relationship that's that needs healing, pray. Yes. Pray, because God can do that. I believe our relationship is a testimony to that because I spend more time with you hands down than anyone else other than your dad. Yeah. You know, nobody else has. I don't spend a day with anyone else other than your dad. Precisely. Mom would run close in that race to you, my mom.

Alex Willis 29:24

Your mammal. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and the reality is that now when people do say to me, Oh, I wish I had a mom like yours, I say, Yeah, I know. I know you do. Thank you. She's awesome. And I have so many friends that they don't they don't have a relationship with their mom at all for whatever reason. Right. And that is that is all the more motivation to continue to pouring into my time with you because it's precious. And we don't have tomorrow necessarily. We don't ever know. Right. The word's pretty clear that we are a vapor. We can be here today and gone tomorrow. It's true. And so that time and in my relationship with the Lord, there is there is a significant difference between when I was just feeling mopey about our relationship versus whenever I put my eyes on on God and dove into that relationship more than just a girl who went to church her whole life, but actually seeking Christ. Right. It it gave me a fulfillment inside of myself, inside of my heart and soul, that I might have even been looking to you to fill partially. You know, you're everybody wants their mom. Yeah. Everybody does. It's true. But maybe I desired that more than I desired Christ at the time. Yeah. And so now you're my mom, you're my friend, you're my sister, you know, you're my confidant. Yeah. And time with you is precious, even if we don't agree on some things. Or if you don't like that I want to be plastic someday. But oh, here we are.

Kim McIntire 31:10

Yeah, I just like the real you. That's the thing. Because that's the one God made. That's so, you know, that's that's all I'm saying. I love the real Alex that God created because he did a really, really good job.

Alex Willis 31:25

Hey, you know, sometimes you have to renovate the temple.

Kim McIntire 31:28

That's funny.

The Power Of Apologies

Kim McIntire 31:30

Okay. Well, moving on. Do you remember a time that I apologized to you? I you have apologized so many times. I just didn't know if there was a significant point. Would you encourage a an adult, a parent to apologize to their adult children?

Alex Willis 31:51

Absolutely. I would. Because it takes a really big person to make themselves small and say, I didn't always know what I was doing, and I didn't always do what I ought to do. And maybe I didn't even always know what I ought to do. Right. But I'm sorry because you're important to me, and I don't want to hurt you, and that was never my intention. I know I can't undo it. Yeah. But please help me to help you so that we can repair and move forward together, up and up. You know, we want to be moving from glory to glory in every aspect of our lives. We want to go forward, not backward. You know, we don't want to be constantly having to have the Lord redirect our eyes. Don't look back. Look forward, don't look back. So I also think that it's important for the listeners that are out here, my peers, to have an open mind. You know, you might be hurt by your parents, you might have deep, deep hurts. Right. But they are the first people that ever loved you. And sometimes people have failures, but things will never change, they'll never grow if you don't give them the opportunity to repent. And it it takes a lot for some people to listen to their parents because there are a lot of estranged people out there for whatever reason. People that are in the ministry, people that aren't believers, non-believers. But you can't have you can't repair your relationship if you don't give them a chance. That's true. And maybe they won't say the right thing. But for me, I wouldn't ever want to wake up tomorrow and find out something had happened to you and not giving you the opportunity if you said to me, Hey, sis, I need to talk to you about something. It's really important and I need you to listen to me. Just give me five minutes. You know, I I couldn't live with myself if something happened tomorrow and I didn't give you the time today.

Kim McIntire 34:12

Right. That's a very good point. I feel like part of the key to healing is for sure admitting you're wrong, asking for forgiveness, whether they give it to you or not. We're supposed to ask, yes. And prayer, time, attention, and just a willingness to let God do what only He can do. Because we can't fix everything. Correct. We we can't fix everything. There are some wounds that only God can heal. Yes. And as much time or attention or love and affection as you want to give. I mean, and I didn't say love, but obviously love. Love your child. Yeah. Um show them love. Find out what their love language is. And you know, invest in that. Yeah. So anyway, I'm I'm really grateful that you were willing to share your part of this story, Alex. Are there any other thoughts that, you know, this is just on our hearts? We are many years into our healed relationship, I feel like, and it's not perfect, of course. Right. Like you said, we disagree. We have different perspectives on things. We don't always see eye to eye. But overall, I feel like we can say with truthful honesty, like we have a healthy and healed relationship, and it's come so far from what it was. Grace of God. Oh my goodness, 15 years ago, 20 years ago, it's not, it is the grace of God. It is. In conclusion, I think we should also consider that there are some who have not to minimize the the woundedness that you had, Alex, but to acknowledge that some people have some significant traumatic wounds from childhood.

Trauma, Forgiveness, And Safe Boundaries

Kim McIntire 36:17

Would you like to speak into that? I would.

Alex Willis 36:20

There are many people probably listening who they hear my grip about you and about my adolescence and think, oh, I would I would love, I would love to have that be my main problem, my big hang up with my parents. There are people, children every day who are exploited, abused, neglected, left hungry, abandoned, trafficked, and sexually abused. And if you are listening, I want you to know that I acknowledge you. You are seen, even if you haven't told anybody about it, the Lord knows. And uh you might have a uh relationship that you believe is beyond repair with your uh parents. And I would implore you to pray about it, to be able to forgive them. Some relationships cannot continue. It's not safe to be with or near those people. However, if you can forgive them, then that can be the step that you take to break those chains in your family or your children. And so I would really like to pray over you. Yes. Because you do have a father in heaven who loves you and adores you, and the tears that you have cried, they haven't gone unnoticed. The word says that he collects them, that he has them in the palm of your hand, of his hand. And he loves you and sent Christ to die for you. I mean, that is that is great, great love. Amen. You might not be able to see that right now. And so I would like to pray over you uh just that you can have uh peace and healing within your own spirit. Yes. So, Father God, I come before you. Yes, Lord. I come with a thankful heart because you have been faithful all my life, you have taken care of me, and I have seen you do wonderful things. Yes. But Lord, there are people who are hurting. There are people who can't even bear to to call out to you because of the hurt in their hearts and in their spirit. So, Lord, I ask that you would pour out your spirit over them, that you would open the doors of heaven, that you would pour out your wisdom, that your angels would minister to them. The word says that you're near to the brokenhearted. And so, God, I beseech you to reach out and put your arms around these men and women, children, Jesus, that you would pour out your your holy comfort, that your Holy Spirit would reach deep into their hearts and their minds and their souls. God, that you would give them a peace and an understanding that what has happened to them does not define them. That's right. Lord, I ask that you would give them the courage and the strength to forgive where forgiveness is due. I declare in Jesus' name that these bonds would be broken for their future families, that what the enemy stole, you will restore. Yes. That you will give it back to them, Lord, that you will return the years that were stolen from them.

Kim McIntire 39:57

Amen.

Alex Willis 39:58

We thank you, God, because we know that you are faithful and you are true, and that even whenever we can't see it, Lord, there is a time we can look back and follow the pathway of what you have done for us. So I pray that over these listeners right now, Lord, that you would fill them with your joy, with your hope, that you would surround them with your holy host of angels to protect them. I speak out against enemy lies in the name of Jesus Christ. And I pray blessing blessings and laughter and joy and love over these listeners. Thank you, God, for this podcast. Thank you, God, for the audience. I pray that you would have exactly the words that you need them to hear in their own spirits and their own hearts, Lord. And I thank you because I know that you are able to. You can do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine. So I ask you to do it now, Lord, in the name of Jesus Christ. Thank you. Amen. Thank you, Jesus.

Final Prayer And Next Steps

Kim McIntire 41:00

Amen. Listeners, I want to encourage you. If you know someone that is struggling with recovering from childhood trauma, whatever it is, whether it seems small or large, I I would implore you, encourage you to share this episode with them. And thank you, Alex, for being willing to share with our listeners. You're welcome. Really thankful for that. And we're believing that this episode is going to impact lives and bring healing to relationships. Please share this series. And check out our website at it'stimetoriseup.org. We would love to hear your feedback. Please rate us or leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. We pray God's grace and peace will be with you all in Jesus' name.