Living Surrendered to Christ in Marriage and in Life with Drew and Ashley Frazier - 19

"The lost coin doesn't know it's lost." These powerful words from Drew Frazier capture the essence of a marriage story that will leave you breathless. After 16 years together, Drew and Ashley share with raw vulnerability how their seemingly perfect relationship was built on shifting sand—until God orchestrated a complete renovation through surrender.

Drew grew up in a pastor's home, well-versed in making everything appear fine on the surface while hiding struggles beneath. When he carried habitual sin into his marriage, the cracks were inevitable. Meanwhile, Ashley had unknowingly placed her husband where only Jesus should be, finding her identity and worth primarily in their relationship rather than Christ. This dangerous imbalance set the stage for devastation when Drew's hidden struggles escalated into patterns of infidelity during COVID isolation.

The turning point came with a desperate prayer and an unmistakable divine encounter. As Drew drove home one day, God spoke with remarkable clarity: "I want YOU." This profound moment of feeling truly wanted by his Creator initiated a series of events that can only be described as miraculous—a men's purity group starting that very week, trusted counselors appearing at precisely the right moment, and supernatural strength enabling both confession and forgiveness.

Ashley's journey through grief to restoration offers particular hope for anyone navigating betrayal. Her wisdom about properly grieving, seeking God's discernment, and looking for genuine "fruit of repentance" provides a roadmap for those wondering if healing is possible. The moment God prompted her to forgive "by faith" resulted in an immediate supernatural release as the blood of Jesus covered their situation.

Today, their marriage stands as living proof that nothing is beyond God's redemptive power when we're willing to surrender completely to His process. As Drew now ministers to youth and Ashley to children, their testimony continues transforming lives beyond their own family.

Have you found yourself wearing masks, hiding struggles, or placing relationships above God? Perhaps this is your invitation to experience the freedom that comes with complete surrender. Remember—sometimes the lost coin doesn't realize it's lost until the Finder begins His relentless pursuit.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome and Introduction
• 9:40 Drew and Ashley's Journey Together
• 15:53 Coming to Faith and Early Spiritual Life
• 23:20 Drew's Testimony of Redemption
• 32:30 Ashley's Experience and Perspective
• 39:10 Words of Encouragement and Prayer

Transcript

Kim McIntire: 0:08

Welcome to the it's Time to Rise Up podcast. I'm your host, kim McIntyre. We know there are so many things you could do with your time, so thank you for choosing to spend your time listening today. We pray you are encouraged and blessed by what is shared. If you're not familiar with our show, check out our website at itstimetoriseuporg. There you will find our social media links and, as for our podcast platforms, you can find us on YouTube, apple Podcasts, spotify and anywhere else you find your podcast. We also want to remind listeners that our annual Rise Up conference is August 1st and 2nd at the Keter Center near Branson, missouri. There is a discount for our podcast listeners. Just enter podcast15 when you go to the website to register. I can't wait to see you all there.

Kim McIntire: 0:58

Well, we have our third part of our marriage series tonight, with an interview with Drew and Ashley Frazier. I'm so excited to have you guys in the studio. Welcome back, ashley. Yes, you were here for one of our Abide Bible studies, and so our listeners have heard your sweet voice before, so I'm glad you're back and you brought your second half with you tonight. Welcome, drew. Thank you so much.

Kim McIntire: 1:23

I'm so glad you're back and you brought your second half with you tonight. Welcome, drew, thank you so much, I'm glad you're here.

Kim McIntire: 1:27

I appreciate you guys being willing to share your story Absolutely. I know it's going to be a blessing to so many. You both are such a joy. I know you through ministry. You both serve children. You specifically children, ashley and Drew, specifically youth.

Drew Frazier: 1:45

Right.

Kim McIntire: 1:45

My granddaughter is in the Littles program and my grandson is in the youth program at a local church where we attend, and what I've seen in both of you is the love of Christ pouring out into the future generation. Yeah, and what can be better than that? Right?

Drew Frazier: 2:04

Right.

Kim McIntire: 2:07

Raising up the teacher church, and so that's why I'm honored to have you here, because I've witnessed that and my family is a benefactor of that, so thank you. Well, let's just open with you guys sharing a little bit about yourselves. Whichever one wants to go first, feel free.

Ashley Frazier: 2:21

Yeah, well, thank you, kim. It's an honor to be here and to share, so we appreciate you for asking. Oh, you're so welcome. Yeah, so we are Drew and Ashley Frazier and we have been married for 16 years. It's crazy, that's a long time we started young.

Kim McIntire: 2:42

Yeah, I was going to say you look so young, how can you be married 16 years? But I totally believe you.

Ashley Frazier: 2:49

Yes, so we were 19 and 20 when we got married. But yeah, we have three beautiful kids. Aiden is 14, going on 15. Oh, my Madeline is 12. And Jude is 9. Oh, my goodness.

Kim McIntire: 3:05

Those is 12 and Jude is 9. Oh my goodness yeah. Those are perfect spaces.

Ashley Frazier: 3:08

Yeah, it was.

Kim McIntire: 3:09

Did you?

Ashley Frazier: 3:09

plan that we planned Aiden and Maddie, but Jude was our surprise. We didn't know, we needed the best surprise.

Kim McIntire: 3:18

Yes, the best surprise, absolutely. That's so good yeah.

Ashley Frazier: 3:21

Awesome. So I was a stay-at-home mom for 10 years and then two years ago actually this month I came on staff at the church and just felt called to do that and our kids were getting older and my homeschool, but it just all flowed and worked beautifully because that's what the Lord had you know for that season. Flowed and worked beautifully because that's what the Lord had you know for that season. And then just this last September Drew came on staff as well and so it's just been so neat to just as we do life with each other, do ministry and all of it together.

Ashley Frazier: 3:59

Yeah, yeah, it's been so cool.

Kim McIntire: 4:01

Every part connected. I love that that's so good. Thank you, Ashley. How about you, Drew?

Drew Frazier: 4:07

So, yeah, we just we're a church family. That's what we do. Our lives are really focused around God and around church and around each other too. We love spending time together and we take every opportunity that we can to be together. We enjoy just sitting in front of the TV, you know, enjoying a show. We also enjoy playing games together and we work together, obviously, but that also includes working at our house. We like to get out and do anything around the house that we can picking up sticks, whatever it is but we involve our whole family and that's just how we do things.

Ashley Frazier: 4:43

We like to do it that way and I make him do a puzzle with me every now and then. Oh yeah.

Kim McIntire: 4:46

Oh yes, do you love that, drew, I do, I do, I don't like puzzles.

Drew Frazier: 4:51

If she's there, then I'm all about it.

Kim McIntire: 4:52

I love that. That's so good. Well, there's plenty of sticks to pick up in this season right, right, yes, oh, my goodness. Okay, well, thank you so much for sharing that about yourselves. This episode we're going to focus on living surrendered to Christ in marriage and in life, and you guys are the final of three interviews which I shared already, and so we're going to start a little differently with this one, and that is how did you meet?

Drew Frazier: 5:24

So we met at a young age. I don't know when exactly that was. As far as I can remember back she's always been there. She grew up in the town that my grandpa was a pastor, and so when I would go visit his church I would see her and she would be a part of that town. And I don't remember any interactions really that we had, or the very first time that we even had a conversation, but I do know that the church that I grew up in she would visit from time to time around the age 12, 11 or 12. And I began to really notice her around that time, you know, as I was coming into teenage years, she really stood out, and past that there were a few times that we had some conversations, but past that, when my grandpa died, my dad took the church as the lead pastor, and so we moved into that town, into that community.

Drew Frazier: 6:17

And there she was and we developed a relationship very quickly. It was a friendship. She's just been my best friend for a long time and as teenagers we just enjoyed being together. It was just one of those things that we could sit, we could talk, we could play games, we could do whatever, and as long as we were together, we were very comfortable around each other. And that developed into a dating relationship and then we got married after that.

Ashley Frazier: 6:50

Yeah, yeah, it's funny. I actually remember, um, I guess I'm a knower, kim I. I just knew things. Um, he, he was actually in a car accident before we even began dating and um, I remember the morning that they told us that there was an accident and I was 15. We hadn't even began dating and I just knew, god, you know he has to be OK, I know he's the one I'm going to marry. And that even almost made me hesitate when he asked me out to start dating, because I'm like, well, I'm going to be with you for the rest of my life, like I already knew.

Kim McIntire: 7:27

You know he was the one, but yeah, You're the only person that I actually know like real life person. I've heard people say that on interviews like TV or something, or just in books or interviews like in magazines, but I've never heard someone that I know say I knew, yeah, I knew that he was the one.

Ashley Frazier: 7:47

Yeah, I know, at 15, it was kind of crazy. But so, yeah, when he asked me out, I almost was like I remember talking to my mom and just being like should I say yes, you know? Because I'm like this is it, you know? And? But I'm so glad I did. It's been so fun and, like he said, we've always just been the best of friends.

Kim McIntire: 8:08

That's the best marriage. If you began as friends, you don't have to figure that out later. Right, right, right, very wise, a very wise way to start, for sure. Ok, so how about when you were saved, because you obviously were raised in church when did you make a personal decision, drew, to follow Christ as your Lord and Savior?

Drew Frazier: 8:31

Well, I started really early. I can remember going forward as a little guy, four or five years old, at Children's Church at the church that I grew up in. And.

Drew Frazier: 8:42

I know that I had a relationship with Jesus at that point. I know that he would speak to me, that I would talk to him as a young person, and I know that God placed a call on my life at that point as well. I know that, looking back on it and reflecting, and God sharing things with me about when I was that age, there were so many things that I know that he had for me and he had plans for me. And you know, you grow up and as you grow up, things happen and it was just. There was things that came between me and him and you know nothing that he did. Definitely this was all me, but I had a really, really, really good rededication at 32 years old, so that wasn't too long ago, just several years ago, and my life was just changed at that point, you know it was just turned around.

Kim McIntire: 9:35

That's amazing. I can't wait to hear more about that in a minute. What about you, Ashley? When did you receive Christ as your Savior and Lord?

Ashley Frazier: 9:43

Yeah, well, raised in church. So I don't remember if I had like a three-year-old, four-year-old, you know, ask Jesus into my heart moment. But the moment I remember I had been six or seven years old, wow, and the Spirit was just moving in the church. It was a Sunday night service. You know, the kids are all in service and all the kids are in the pews still and all the grownups were in the altar and God was moving and I remember the Lord speaking so clearly to me to just go up and raise my hand and to surrender to Him. You know, surrender my life to Him and worship Him. And I thought, well, what are all these people going to think? You know this little kid going up there and doing that?

Ashley Frazier: 10:29

I kind of had that thought in my head but thankfully the voice of the Lord was more persuasive than my own. What ifs? So that was such a marker in my life to go up and surrender and give my heart to Him and my life to Him. And I actually remember opening my eyes and there was like all of the adults circled around me and it was just beautiful. And I've always just had a desire to serve the Lord and to be used by Him and definitely have not lived that out perfectly by any means. There's been many times in my life where I've not put Him in the place that he should be, but I'm just so thankful for His faithfulness. I've never turned away from Him, you know, and he's just always pursued me in such a beautiful way and I keep growing closer and closer to Him all the time that's sweet.

Kim McIntire: 11:29

Yeah, it's a sweet journey. Well, we know that being saved and living a life surrendered to the Lord are not the same, right, yeah?

Drew Frazier: 11:38

that's right.

Kim McIntire: 11:38

I've lived that journey. I think you guys have lived that journey. You guys have lived that journey. And so, drew, what led you to a place where you were determined to surrender your whole life to Christ? For me that was a pit. I don't know if that's true for you, but I've not heard your story. But we have this. Really, it's a verse that we stand on, rise Up, stands on. We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony Absolutely.

Kim McIntire: 12:08

So, part of why you're here is because you have a redemption story. That's right. So I would just love for you to just take a few moments and share that, okay.

Drew Frazier: 12:17

It might be a little more than a few, as many as you need it's a big story. As many as you need it's a big story as many as you need. It is a God story and it's what he does. It's what he wants to do with everybody. I know he does and I'm probably going to get emotional. Go right ahead. I hope that's okay it is okay.

Drew Frazier: 12:34

But you know I did grow up in church. My dad was a pastor from a very young age. He was a kid's pastor and a nursing home pastor at the same time and kind of a volunteer role all the while I was growing up. And whenever you grow up in that, you know it's great. I wouldn't trade that for anything. I loved the raising that I had. I love that my dad's a pastor. I love that my grandpa was a pastor.

Drew Frazier: 12:56

You know, that's a heritage that was handed down and something that I'm pursuing now. But when you do grow up, in that you learn how to work your way around and wiggle around people to make them think certain things, especially if you're not doing well, especially if you've got things that you're hiding, if you've got things that you don't want other people to know, even your parents or your siblings or friends, or the pastor, especially even your parents or your siblings or friends, or the pastor especially. You know. You learn how to put on a good face and you learn how to make people think about you, what you want them to think. And so I knew how to. I knew how to work people. I knew how to smile, always put on a smile. I knew how to talk to people so that they knew well Drew's good.

Drew Frazier: 13:42

You know, if we need somebody to step in to do whatever, we know that we can count on Drew because he's good, because his relationship with the Lord is where it's supposed to be and he isn't hiding anything.

Drew Frazier: 13:54

He's doing very well and to this day, that's a very big deal to me is that I want people to look at me and to perceive me as being successful, as having everything together, and I know that that probably has something to do with something in my childhood. But it's very hard, very difficult for me to step out and say, hey, here's things that I've done wrong, and so this is totally a God thing that he's given me the power, given me the ability to step in and share something like this. My story really reflects the parable that Jesus tells in Luke, chapter 15, in verse 8. It's the second parable. The first one is the sheep that goes away. He leaves the shepherd and he doesn't know that he's lost. He just knows that he's in a dangerous situation and the scripture tells us that the shepherd will go. He's going to leave 99 to go get the one, and I love that.

Drew Frazier: 14:52

And then the third parable is the parable of the prodigal son.

Drew Frazier: 14:55

The son leaves the father's house and he walks away from the father, from the blessing of the father, and he says I'm going to go try to find my own way in it. And I can relate a lot with the end of it, the point where the scripture says that he came to himself and the Holy Spirit downloaded that moment for him and he understands that I got to get back to the Father. And I've been there, you know, and so I can relate with that. Yeah, and I've been there, you know, and so I can relate with that. But I read through the book of Luke, or that chapter in Luke and I.

Drew Frazier: 15:29

Something just hits about that second story. It's the story of the woman who has 10 coins and it says that if she loses one she's going to search her house high and low until she finds it and when she does she's going to rejoice. And that story is all about the woman and of course we know that the woman is God. But the coin is me and I can relate with it more than anything else because I can look like all the other coins, I can look like the other nine, I can be just as shiny and I can be just as valuable and I can have all of those things and I can stand up right beside them, but that doesn't mean that I'm still not lost. Right.

Drew Frazier: 16:13

And I've been there. You know, there something happened in my teenage years. I learned, like I said, I learned how to hide things and I picked up a habitual sin. I picked up a sin, an online sin that a lot of guys struggle with, and I took that and I know that there were things that I had made agreements with the enemy about that, about myself. He had told me some lies, enemy about that, about myself. He had told me some lies that, Drew, you're this, you're this way and you're always going to be this way. And I said you know what you're right. And that started a that created a hole in my life.

Drew Frazier: 16:56

And so, even though I had a relationship with Jesus at that point, I wasn't completely sold out on it, I wasn't completely fully surrendered to it and I carried all of that sin into my relationship with my wife, who she was my first girlfriend, she was my fiance and then she became my wife and then the mother of my children. I carried that and I hid it as best I could. I hid it and I didn't do a very good job of it at times, but I did try and you know, there were moments where God gave me an out, so to speak, and he said hey, here's an opportunity for you to just get it all out there, just let her know, just tell her everything. And I, I didn't do a very good job of of doing that and I harbored some of that and so, as a result, I just continued to go further and further down and no matter what I did to turn around to try and claw my way out of it, my best effort was not enough. I'm a very, very poor Jesus. Jesus is the only one who can reach down and who can grab you out of that pit that you talked about and pull you out.

Drew Frazier: 18:06

And so it continued to progress and it got worse and it got worse and COVID happened and I lost any accountability that I had through church. I lost the weekly download of worship that I was getting and my relationship with Jesus got to the point where it was non-existent. Jesus got to the point where it was non-existent. It's not that I had turned away just within my own decision, but I had still turned away, I had still gotten lost and it just continued to progress. But I remember where I was in the middle of infidelity and just awful, awful stuff, and I was in my car and I was driving home from work and I started to weep and I said, god, you got to get me out of this. And he said OK, and that started a series of events that completely turned my life absolutely around.

Drew Frazier: 19:20

You know, it wasn't just now, it wasn't just that I looked like the coin and that I had the same value I was, I was value, I was, I was found, I was with the rest of them, the rest of the coins.

Drew Frazier: 19:32

He had put me back where I needed to be and that all started really with that moment in the car. The next thing that happened was I went to a men's Bible study and churches had opened back up, and so I went to a men's Bible study and we were covering the book Dangerous Prayers by Craig Groeschel, and one of the prayers that you pray in that is Lord, search me. If there's anything found in me that you don't, that isn't supposed to be there, I want you to bring it to the light and expose it. And I prayed it and I meant it, and that's dangerous. You know that's dangerous, not for me. I mean it is dangerous for me because it's putting me in a situation where I'm going to have to expose so much of myself, but it's dangerous for the enemy because redemption starts to happen at those moments. You know right, because redemption starts to happen at those moments you know, that's right.

Drew Frazier: 20:29

So I prayed that prayer and the next day I'm in my car again and I just got back from lunch and I'm on my way back to work and God says okay, it's time you have to tell your wife everything. And I said okay, it's time you have to tell your wife everything. And I said, yeah, right, god, I can't do that, that's something that I'll just have to carry with me. And he said you need to tell your wife. And I started a bargain with God. I said well, if you give me 50 years, then I'll tell her about it, I'll give her everything. And he said no, no, you, you need to tell your wife. And so I continued to go down that path until I said okay. And when I said okay, he said Drew, and this was like him talking, like you and I are talking right now. Like I didn't hear him audibly, but I could not have heard him any clearer. That's right.

Drew Frazier: 21:31

He said Drew, I got something that I want you to do. Mm-hmm. And I could have somebody else do it, but I want you to do it. Mm-hmm, because I want you, and I think that's really the core of who I am. Yeah. Is to be wanted. Yeah, and that fixed. So many things just in that moment.

Kim McIntire: 21:53

Sure.

Drew Frazier: 21:54

That he said I want you.

Kim McIntire: 21:57

Praise.

Drew Frazier: 21:57

God. So I went home and I looked for opportunities and we began to. I found an opportunity and it took me a while to get everything out and to expose everything to my wife, but I did and we started to rebuild and the miracles that happened immediately after that were so immense and so it's just unbelievable. Like if I were to say to tell you that and without the context of God being involved, there's no way it would be believable, and just the things that God did to line up how we can get to where we're at right now is so unreal.

Kim McIntire: 22:48

He's so good yes, he is and so faithful.

Drew Frazier: 22:51

Yes, he is.

Kim McIntire: 22:52

Wow.

Drew Frazier: 22:56

So, to cap that off, I did hit a moment where we came through it and I'll let Ashley share in just a second about that. But to get to the point of full surrender, I do think to answer your question, it was that moment in the car just telling God OK, whatever you say, I'm going to do it. And he took it from there and he just he just finished it.

Kim McIntire: 23:30

Thank you, Lord.

Drew Frazier: 23:31

Yes.

Kim McIntire: 23:32

Thank you, lord. Yeah, there's nothing he can't do. No, he's the God of impossible. Yeah, and he's the God of redemption. Ashley, how was your heart just in the midst of that? Hmm? How was your heart just?

Ashley Frazier: 23:49

in the midst of that. Well, I mean, obviously I was crushed and I actually figured out a lot about myself during that time and I, you know, in preparing for this, I was looking through my journal and I did a lot of journaling during that time and one of the things that I realized was I had put Drew where Jesus was supposed to be. In many ways, we, you know, got married so young, got together so young, and he, we you know, got married so young, got together so young, and he Drew. I had wrapped up my identity, my self-esteem, my self-worth, my comfort, everything was from Drew. And so when this happened, the Lord so kindly brought that to my attention that I really didn't have Him in.

Ashley Frazier: 24:51

His rightful place, even though I was following Him and you know I was just navigating all of the things. The why, I think, was I remember writing down most of the time why, you know, and we live in a fallen world and we're all broken people and God helped me so much to see and have grace and compassion through my pain as Drew was figuring out the why you know, um, I think one of the things that carried me through that time was I, I grieved, I grieved.

Ashley Frazier: 25:38

well, I grieved, you know, that trust had been lost, that this was our story now. I grieved and the Lord helped me grieve through that, you know.

Kim McIntire: 25:57

And grief is necessary. Yeah, yeah, If you fast forward through that and you don't let your heart grieve, there's repair to do later.

Ashley Frazier: 26:05

Yeah.

Kim McIntire: 26:05

This should have just been done from the get-go. So I think that's a good word for someone listening to this episode that if you've gone through this or you're going through this, allow your heart time to grieve yeah because the bible even says there's a time, there's a season to grieve um healing comes. Yeah, when you properly grieve.

Ashley Frazier: 26:25

Yeah, one of the things I actually wrote down was even grieving inches inching forward. You know I mean little little steps, but God put people in my path. I mean Drew told me about it all in an evening as we were going to sleep, so there wasn't a lot of sleep to be had that night. The next morning I reached out and he reached out and I couldn't be more thankful for the place he put us and the people he put around us at that time. It made all the difference around us at that time. It made all the difference. I mean we had people walking me through what I was going through and walking him through it and there was so much individual healing that needed to happen before we could begin repairing the marriage. You know. Yeah.

Ashley Frazier: 27:36

You know, but I think I you know. As I looked back in my journal, I asked the Lord so many times for wisdom, for discernment, and he gave me so many amazing words. He spoke to me. He was so near and so present. He told me to look for the fruit of repentance and, you know, drew bore the fruit of repentance and the Holy Spirit gave me the discernment to know.

Kim McIntire: 28:11

You know how and when I could start trusting Him and letting Him in again. That's powerful. Ashley. Yeah, not everyone may understand what that means. So when you say look for the fruit of repentance. Could you just explain that a little bit? What did that look like in your life?

Ashley Frazier: 28:26

Yeah, well, it's one thing to say you're sorry. You know those are words, sure, but Drew showed me he was sorry through his actions.

Ashley Frazier: 28:36

You know, he bared it all. I mean, there was nothing that he didn't give me that I asked for. You know whether it's your GPS location or all the the passwords on your phone or you know whatever. He gave it all so willingly and he never once, um put any blame on me or on any other thing. It was he completely owned it all. You know he owned every bit of it and we're not I'm not perfect. You know he owned every bit of it and we're not I'm not perfect. You know he could have said, he could have said things, you know, but he owned it all and that was huge. But yeah, I could just tell you know the way he reached out to community, the way he got into groups. You know it was so. It was so the Lord, like he says, it's a God story. It's a God story Like there was literally a men's purity class starting at our church that same week.

Kim McIntire: 29:39

Wow, how does that happen? You know? I've never even heard of that. Yeah, and you have one start at your church that week. That week.

Ashley Frazier: 29:46

So God, so he entered into that. He was meeting with guys. We started to do marriage counseling and then we ended up splitting off and just doing some individual counseling. But he was humble and the Holy Spirit let me know that, you know gave me the discernment to know that and, yeah, all of those things were the fruit that I needed to see.

Kim McIntire: 30:15

Praise God. Yeah For the discernment too, of the Holy. Spirit, and you know, the fruit of repentance ultimately is change right. Repentance means you turn another way so you don't continue in the same path, and so what a God story.

Ashley Frazier: 30:30

Yeah, yeah, I I wrote down. You know I have to let go of the man that I thought I knew and I'm going to start to love the man I know God can make him to be. And that's exactly what happened. And it's just crazy because, you know, I hadn't looked over my journal in years and even the things I had prayed to see those things now come out and to see. I mean, even in my journal I had a portion where it said miracles through the mess or madness.

Ashley Frazier: 31:04

And, like Drew said, you wouldn't believe us if we'd say but there were some miracles from the people that he put in our path to the doors he opened for Drew to get out of the situations he needed to get out of and get in better ones. Like it was just amazing, it was just God all over it, god bringing them to that place. And number 14, I wrote on my miracles through the madness was Drew's repentant heart. His remorse is a miracle. And I didn't realize then when I wrote that, how true that was, you know. But that's what I would say would be fruit would be the fruit of it.

Kim McIntire: 31:46

Yeah, and so, though I'm sure neither of you would wish this journey on anyone, would you agree that it's made you stronger?

Ashley Frazier: 31:56

Oh, absolutely.

Ashley Frazier: 31:57

Oh, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, I mean I thought you know that we had a good marriage before and I thought, but like he said, you know him kind of wearing a mask and pretending a lot, and for me, like I don't know, I just feel like our marriage is real now, like what I thought it was was actually it wasn't sold out, you know, neither one of us really. And now it's real and it's really good and it's really beautiful and the way the Lord put it back together, he just restored it and I couldn't have asked for more, you know.

Kim McIntire: 32:39

Yeah. And when a life is surrendered, what I found to be true in every person I know that's willing to share their testimony of redemption is that, when you truly enter into that place of surrender, what the Lord does and only he can is he won't waste any of the pain or the sin. He won't even waste the sin. He'll just be like what the enemy meant for evil. I'm turning it for good.

Drew Frazier: 33:10

Only God can do that.

Kim McIntire: 33:10

And that's what I hear in your story is that at that place of surrender, god took all of the things, all of the yuck, and he's used it for a purpose, and I fully believe that there are people listening to this that need hope and they're in a similar situation, and you guys are an example that the Lord can do anything.

Drew Frazier: 33:35

Because when I see you guys.

Kim McIntire: 33:37

I would tell anyone you're one of the happiest couples I know, and it's not because it's been easy right it's not been an easy journey. It's been a tough journey. And you've worked with each other and with the Lord and you've put Him at the center and that surrender of God, it's not our life, it's yours and Drew's not. First, god you are. And.

Kim McIntire: 33:56

Ashley's not first. God you are. That is key Because so many people get that out of balance. I got that out of balance. You don't think about when you know the word talks about idolatry. You always think about things, but idols can be people you know our spouse, our children a friend, I mean anyone who takes a position over God or anything is an idol. And so.

Kim McIntire: 34:21

I love that you brought that out in the story. You guys have given us so much tonight. What I would like to ask is do you have any specific words of encouragement? Maybe you, drew, for some men that are listening, maybe you, ashley, for some women that are listening, and then we'll go into a time of prayer for our listeners. Do you have any specific words you'd like to speak, drew?

Drew Frazier: 34:47

Sure, you know to the guy that's out there right now that you know who you are, you know what you've got. What I would just say, man, is that you, you're going to get through this, you're going to be OK. But that's what it takes. It takes getting to the point where you're OK with God. All the rest of it's going to fall into place. And whenever you decide that, whenever God breaks you down to the point that you know you can't do anything else, you have to expose all of it.

Drew Frazier: 35:25

Find a brother that you can talk with, that you can walk through this with and that you can just kind of bear it all to, and let that brother make sure he's a good brother in Christ. Download some wisdom to you on how to go about it, on how to do it, because I know I made a lot of mistakes. It took me a while to get everything out and I hurt the situation. Instead of just getting it all over with and ripping it off like a Band-Aid, I grew it out and it took a lot longer than what it had to. So I would encourage you to find a community, find a brother, find somebody that you can do this with and let them, coach you through it, because it's not worth hurting that person that you love, that best friend that you have. It's not worth hurting that person.

Kim McIntire: 36:17

That's right. That's right. And the enemy loves isolation. He loves it. So the worst thing you can do is isolate when you're facing a situation like this. Thank you, Drew, so much.

Ashley Frazier: 36:28

What about you?

Kim McIntire: 36:29

Ashley for our women listeners.

Ashley Frazier: 36:31

Yeah, definitely community. I actually remember being in my kitchen, on my kitchen floor, crying out to God and asking Him to just completely take care of it, all the pain. But you know, just Him, I know you can do it, god. And he so clearly told me community. He said you know I'm going to use community and people around you. Community, he said you know I'm going to use community and people around you. But you know, I was in the word and I was in prayer. I was just before the Lord because I was lost, you know. But he spoke to me so you know I would tell.

Ashley Frazier: 37:09

If you're in this situation, you know, ask the Lord for wisdom, for help, for a word. You know he had really specific words for me. He told me to patiently wait at one point. And you know, another time he told me the words by faith, one morning I just had that ringing in my head all morning, by faith. And that morning, or that afternoon at lunch, drew called me and it was probably three months into this thing, three months, you know. And so we're, you know we're doing work at three months in.

Ashley Frazier: 37:41

And he said you know, I'm just so sorry that we're having to do this and we're having to walk this road, and he had said sorry many times, I'd said I forgive you many times, but at that moment God said, by faith, say I forgive you. And that's powerful. I said it and something shifted, kim. It was supernatural. I seen red, I seen the blood of Jesus cover things. I was still and if you're walking through this you know what I'm talking about I still was feeling it physically. I still physically was hurting, like, like knives in my gut, like this is painful you know, and at that moment he took the pain away, the physical pain I felt.

Ashley Frazier: 38:30

Praise God he. It took me a few days to realize, but when I would think about the situation it was different. It was thinking about it through the lens of the blood and it was covered by the blood. Wow, Thank you, Jesus. I mean forgiveness. So often is a process, but I know supernatural forgiveness is real because I experienced it.

Kim McIntire: 38:53

So that's a testimony in itself. It is by faith, yeah, by faith, which by faith means I don't feel it, I don't even see it, I'm not hearing it. Right, it's not my experience, but it's what I don't see, feel, hear.

Ashley Frazier: 39:08

Right and experience. Right, that's faith, yeah.

Kim McIntire: 39:14

And I think just speaking that out loud probably broke something that needed to be broken right Absolutely.

Ashley Frazier: 39:17

So I would say listen to the Lord and respond in obedience when he tells you what to do and when you get a word from Him.

Kim McIntire: 39:26

Such good wisdom, such good encouragement. I know there are people that are going to be deeply touched and blessed by this and helped and strengthened. So we're going to close in prayer. Yeah.

Kim McIntire: 39:37

And so just let's feel free. If either of you want to want to join and pray as well, we can take turns, ok, and I'll close it OK. Yeah, father God, thank you for this time that Drew and Ashley have spoken their testimony. All glory to you, god. All glory to you. We thank you that you are the God of impossible. We believe you, lord, to heal marriages. God, to set captives free, to break chains, to do a work of forgiveness, supernatural forgiveness by faith in Jesus' name. Lord, we believe for that and we just thank you that you are at work now. Through the airwaves of this episode, god, we just believe. As it goes out, hearts are being touched and changed and convicted, and I thank you for it, lord.

Drew Frazier: 40:34

Yes, Lord, we're just, I'm just so thankful, God Lord, that you gave me the opportunity to be here tonight and to share this. And, Lord, I pray God, that the words that were spoken, Lord, Father, that it would hit the person that it needs to hit and speak to who it needs to speak to. God, Lord, and we know the word testimony means to do it again. And Lord.

Drew Frazier: 40:59

God, I just pray that you would do this again in somebody's life in some marriage. Lord, that's out there, that's struggling. God, I know that your will would be, god, that people aren't going to have to be separated, they're not going to have to go through a divorce. Sometimes that's the best thing. But, god, I know that you want, you love marriage. And God.

Drew Frazier: 41:19

I just I pray in Jesus' name. Lord, father, that, as this is being heard, as it's being listened to, god, lord, that hearts would be changed. Lord, that you would be lifted up through it, God, and that you would draw all men to you, god through what was said? Tonight.

Ashley Frazier: 41:35

Lord In Jesus' name, yes, god, and I just want to bind any spirit of pride and shame, lord, that can entrap so many from coming forward. Like we've said, testimony means do it again. Like we've said, testimony means do it again, and the things that were broken and true were pride and were that shame and that fear of coming out. So I just say that's broken in Jesus' name. Thank you Jesus. Yes, thank you Jesus and God. I just ask, lord that you would just wrap this up in redemption. Yes, lord, just wrap this up in redemption. God, lord, our story is beautiful and it's redeeming. And.

Ashley Frazier: 42:20

I want to see it done again. That's right, so many people.

Kim McIntire: 42:26

So we say do it again, lord. Thank you, jesus and Lord, we all come in agreement, yes, and we give you all the glory, the holy, holy name of Jesus. We pray amen. Drew and Ashley, thank you so much thank you so much.

Kim McIntire: 42:45

Well, thank you again for being here and thank you, listeners, for joining us for this episode. This concludes our three episode marriage series. Marriage series. If someone you know is struggling in their marital relationship, please share this series with them. We have been praying there will be healing found through these testimonies. Once again, you can find us on our website at itstimetoriseuporg, and our social media platforms are there. May God's grace and peace be with you all, through Jesus Christ, our Lord.